


Strange bird from a different nest

by Dream_wia_dream



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Humor, M/M, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-21
Updated: 2011-04-21
Packaged: 2017-10-18 11:27:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/188439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dream_wia_dream/pseuds/Dream_wia_dream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From a prompt: How about, Harry and Ron being uncomfortable when the owls watch them. *snort*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strange bird from a different nest

"Mmmmm…yes…just. Right there Ron! Oh Fuck, right thereeee…WAIT. Why're you stopping?"

"She's looking at me again."

"What?! You stopped doing that glorious thing with your tongue because you think that picture of your mum is going to yell at you again? I told you, I've hexed the damn thing Muggle."

"No, not my mum – no talking about mums when there's nudity involved. Though NOW I'm going to be thinking about her watching us again. It's your ruddy bird, Harry. She glares at me every time I…every time I do THAT."

"Every time you do what, Ron? Touch me? Kiss me? Rim my arse until I see stars?"

"HARRY! Don't say that. See, she's glaring at me again."

"Ron. She's not even looking at us…she's asleep. You know – Owls, Nocturnal beasties? It is 2 o'clock in the afternoon! She's over there with her head tucked under her wing, dead asleep."

"She peeked out and stared at me."

"Look Ron, I can go over and shake her cage and it won't wake her up!"

"…"

"OK, so maybe I shook a bit too hard. But see, she was asleep. And now she's glaring."

"See! I'm not crazy. What are you doing?"

"I'm getting dressed. I can't….I can't be naked in front of her. She's known me since I was eleven."

"You didn't seem too worried about that a minute ago."

"She was ASLEEP then. Besides…you know that birds are terrible gossips and…nevermind."

"Harry? No I am not putting on a dressing gown for the bird. What? Are you afraid that Hedwig is hooting to the larks outside the windows?"

"Fine then, I'm leaving the room."

"Harry, I'm sorry I said she was glaring at me. Believe me, it doesn't matter what the bird sees."

"But…she'lltelltheotherowls."

"That's what you're afraid of? That she'll spill all our dirty secrets to the other owls?"

"Yes, the other owls. Like your mother's owl."

"Harry, mate – I told you, don't mention my mum when we're naked."

"Like your mother's owl…and Hermione's owl. You know: Hermione."

"Yes, I think I remember her. Ha!"

"Hermione, the budding Ornithologist."

"So, she likes birds…"

"Hermione, the budding Ornithologist, who found that spell to talk to her birds."

"Oh…"

"Hermione, the budding Ornithologist, who found that spell to talk to her birds, and then taught the spell to your MOTHER"

"Alright. Clothes. On. NOW Harry."

"See…I told you"

"Not a word, Potter. Out in the living room. We'll finish this out there."

"…"

"PIGWIDGEON GET OUT!!!!"


End file.
